🏴‍☠️ Where Did Pirates Repair Their Ships?

What was your dream career as a kid?

• Teacher?

• Firefighter?

• Astronaut?

Well, today most are like this…

Moron.

See, there’s only 1 right answer to this.

Pirates are the shit.

I mean, look at this dude:

That’s Captain Jack Sparrow.

He killed bad guys, found buried treasure, and pantie-dropped every midwestern Mom at their local AMC.

But what was the life of a pirate really like?

Well, it starts off surprisingly legit.

Imagine it’s the Caribbean, 1668.

The king of England’s like…

So he gives you this:

A Letter of Marque.

Which lets you raid Spanish & French ships – you just gotta share the spoils with him.

Now you’re a legal pirate privateer.

But this is a sketchy job.

See at any moment the king might cancel your letter.

Which is bad news for someone with zero marketable skills.

So you rebrand.

Good.

Now you’re a pirate.

But there’s a problem….

Ships and storms wreck your ship.

Plus barnacles and seaweed on your hull mean you can’t outrun bad guys.

So you gotta repair.

But no port lets you in….because…you’re a pirate.

So what do you do?

You have 2 options.

Option 1: 

You beach your ship during high tide…but you’re a sitting duck for bad guys.

Option 2:

You bribe ports like Jamaica.

Which soon become a pirate haven.

But by the 1700s the Royal Navy, British East India Company, and colonial governors got their shit together and slaughtered all the pirates.

So actually, nevermind.

Become a YouTuber (with a sick newsletter).

Crush Ass,
Dylan & Henry 🌈

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P.P.S Liked that one on the high seas? Click below for the solution to sea levels rising 👇